Forgiveness isn’t only about others—it’s also about releasing ourselves from the pain we carry. Often, we hold onto resentment as if to shield ourselves from future hurt, but as we progress in healing, we begin to see that holding onto this pain has harmed us more than protected us. Realizing this is a powerful moment. When we see that self-forgiveness is essential to emotional healing, we allow self-compassion to flow in.
Forgiving ourselves may be the most challenging step because it requires a gentle acceptance of our past. Self-forgiveness is an act of grace, one that frees us from the emotional residue of guilt, shame, or regret. As Ruiz teaches, self-forgiveness transforms us. When we release our self-blame, we create the conditions for self-acceptance to blossom. This acceptance becomes a nurturing foundation, where self-love—the final step in healing—begins to grow.
For many, knowing they’ve forgiven someone, including themselves, feels unclear; it can be hard to recognize when we’ve truly let go. Forgiveness, Ruiz suggests, is a learned skill, often needing time and practice to take hold. One sign that forgiveness has taken root is a feeling of neutrality. You know you’ve forgiven when thoughts of a past wound no longer stir pain, resentment, or anger. Instead, there is peace, even a sense of lightness that wasn’t there before.
For me, this awareness often arises during quiet moments or meditation, where I can feel the emotional weight lifting. Practicing self-reflection helps reveal these shifts. When I can think of a past event and feel nothing—no sadness, no bitterness, just calm—that’s when I know I’m healing. This sense of peace is a profound reminder that forgiveness has cleared away emotional residue, leaving space for deeper growth and love.
Forgiveness is an act of personal liberation, releasing us from emotional burdens and inviting self-acceptance and love to take their place. When we forgive, both others and ourselves, we open our hearts to greater peace, self-discovery, and transformation. Healing the emotional body may be a long journey, but each small step of forgiveness brings us closer to a life of inner lightness, connection, and love.